in preparation

A friend took this picture of Catgirl a few years ago, when her artwork was featured at City Hall. She not only got to "cut the ribbon" for the exhibition, but she also spoke at the City Council Meeting and was interviewed for regional TV and newspapers. This picture is her standing in an open stairwell above the exhibit as the news reporter was preparing for her interview. I love how this silhouette captures her little-girl innocence at the same time as it shows a young woman prepared to meet the world.

I'm so thrilled that it's my not-so-little girl's birthday tomorrow. As I wrote earlier, she's celebrating this year by heading to Washington DC as part of a Quaker lobbying group (a group that includes her Dad). Right now she's doing last-minute prep for the trip--learning as much as she can about the relevant issues. And she's also finishing homework & packing. It's a lot to juggle. But she's more than ready!

to any fellow being...

San Gabriel mission, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.
~William Penn

As I'm unpacking my suitcase and remembering so many details of my latest journey, I'm once again humbled by all of the amazing people whose kindness helped me along the way. On a smaller scale, I'm 'crowdsurfing' like Amanda Palmer--allowing myself to be supported by the generosity of the people (especially strangers) around me. A few memories:

--the waiter in a chain restaurant where I stopped briefly to get warm on a long-ish walk in the snow. He was out of tea and admitted that their coffee was terrible. He brought me several cups of hot water (without charge) so I could use my own "emergency teabag".

--finding super-friendly staff & overstuffed chairs for reading and relaxation at The Tattered Cover and Under the Umbrella cafe.

--the hospital archive making an exception for me to spend time deep in the bowels of the basement (in the 'restricted section') poring over records. And the woman who was overseeing me, keeping me supplied with jasmine tea and a kind word. And the random hospital worker who helped me find my way back in the maze of hallways and locked doors after I stepped out to find a restroom.

--Meeting up with friends and colleagues at the WHA conference: sharing tasty cafe food (and not-so-tasty hotel food--ugh!), dips in the hot tub, and late-night pub conversation.

--My uncle's yum breakfasts: toast with homemade jam, banana pancakes, over-easy eggs.

--Meghan's delicious vegetarian dinner meal, including pumpkin pie for dessert (my very very favorite!). Meeting her kids, her spouse, and her crazy kitty was awesome, too, as was listening to Brandon's inaugural concert at Metro State.

--a SuperShuttle driver who gave me extra-detailed directions for navigating the remodeled Denver airport (oh, and not to mention the hotel concierge who ran out into a rush-hour-trafficky street to wave down said shuttle).

--two friendly young nursing students at Caribou Coffee who insisted that I didn't look old enough to be getting a PhD (oh, if they only knew...)

--all of you on twitter and Facebook who "liked" my posts, who sent me notes of encouragement and whose support made me feel braver and stronger than I truly am.

--the remarkable synchronicity of meeting Sara at the Walnut Room, along with Jolie Holland and her partner Gray. Lounging in the green room before the show, Sara treating us all to a "take your chances massage" (oh, how did she know exactly what my poor shoulders needed?) and feeding me her amazing homemade Thai soup. Then, Jolie listening to my plans for rooting around in the archives as she prepped for her gig. My favorite of Jolie's lyrics: "I'll dance at your funeral, if you dance at mine..."

--you great Denverites who smiled back at me.

--the flight attendant who, after seeing how sore and exhausted I was last night, bumped me up to Business class and gave me an entire row to stretch out and sleep on my flight back home.

--And, to make all of this possible, a thanks to the International Center for Writing and Translation for financially supporting my work this year. And huge kudos to my beloved John, GameBoy & CatGirl who are unflagging in their encouragement...and who nourish my pilgrim spirit better than anyone else ever can.

Make me smile...

IMG_7866, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

It's been far too long since I posted one of these lists of happinesses, so here goes!!

--Making travel plans to finish up a section of my archival research. Love love love making reservations and dreaming about adventures-to-come.

--Speaking of travel, I'm experimenting with "crowd sourcing" ideas for romantic travel by posing questions via twitter. I'm thinking that John & I need to make some long-term plans for some big anniversaries that're in the not-so-distant-future.

--B-kitty does the deepest cat sighs when she's craving attention. It's absolutely charming and works nearly every time.

--In an effort to downscale some of my commitments, I'm letting go of my responsibilities as the moderator of FreecycleIrvine. I've done this job day in and out for nearly 5 years and while I absolutely _love_ Freecycle, I don't have the energy for it anymore. I'm feeling glad to hand this job on to someone else now. It's time.

--My thumb that got crunched at paddling practice on Monday is nearly back to normal (hardly purple at all--yay for arnica oil!)

--Today I had one of those days where every time I went to get something accomplished, an obstacle or distraction popped up in my way. I got a lot done still, but I have to say that I'm glad today is over and I'm looking forward to a new day tomorrow. One that's as bright as the daisy in the pic above (and doesn't the center of this flower just almost look like cupcake frosting? Lovely!)

--Tomorrow's Friday! Woot!

there is no blue...

Jana Composition., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

“There is no blue without yellow and without orange.”
~Vincent Van Gogh

My craving for sky blue (as if I don't get enough of it outside every day) inspired me to paint the wall behind our bed this lovely color (and it helped that I scored the paint on Freecycle, too).

It's really amazing how much peace the blue has brought to our bedroom space.

However despite my fondness for blue, I've also been craving orange--I love how warm and alive it feels. Each morning I burn a small orange candle for my morning meditation and I love wearing orange, too.

Alicante

Une orange sur la table
Ta robe sur le tapis
Et toi dans mon lit
Doux présent de la présent
Fraîcheur de la nuit
Chaleur de ma vie
~Jacques Prevert

magical places

Our family visited the Isle of Man about 8 years ago and it was a sublime (despite having various dramas with British Airways--ugh) vacation. One of our favorite spots were the ruins of Peel Castle (pictured above), a space where my ancestors had certainly walked the halls many generations ago. For me, traveling is magical--especially when I can reconnect with the past in a meaningful way, or just let the beauty of a new place wash over me and fill me up with new sensations.

I can't wait to return to the IOM someday, but in the meantime I'm dreaming of trips to new places (specifically, my East coast trip starting next week!) to fill me with their wonder.

Speaking of traveling...if you're in NYC or DC and you want to meetup over the holidays, let me know ASAP. Also, if you'll be at the AHA conference, let's definitely touch base at some point during the proceedings. :)

some simple pleasures

**chatting with a friend on her front porch

**getting an unexpected check in the mail--an award for a book review written several months ago

**meeting all of my dissertation goals for today

**turning the compost in the backporch bin (I try to remember to do this daily--the wormies do their best work when they get plenty of fresh air)

**GameBoy and Catgirl sitting at the kitchen table dutifully doing their homework. Until they break out into a boisterous debate about the merits of the overland Silk Road vs. the seatrade from Mecca to China

**the smell of fresh basil from my garden

yes

H/T

voting

On Monday when I voted, I was ebullient. I Love Voting. Just love it. Although it probably sounds really corny to say this, I felt the spirit of folks like Martin and Alice and Harvey right there alongside me there in that uber hi-tech voting booth. I was also surrounded by dozens of undergrads who were exercising their right for the very first time. The thrill was palpable.

People who are voting next Tuesday: bring a lawnchair and some leftover Halloween candy to share. Those lines are going to be long, but don't let that deter you. Just do it.

:)

all dressed up...

Halloween Party Prep, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Here's John and I prepping for a costume party last night (you can see me going for John's jugular here). Very fun!

What are you going to be for Halloween?

firsts (the alone edition)

Having married while I was in college, and then had babies shortly thereafter, I've rarely done anything by myself. So this trip has been a big one for me—it's the first time I've gone somewhere unfamiliar alone (Salt Lake City and Denver don't count because I've lived both places). So here are some firsts from my first day of travel:

-First cross-country flight alone where I am sitting between two super-tall men who both have a “big stance.” You know what that means? They have like 3 ft each between their two knees and I had no space at all for mine, Everytime I fell asleep I woke up to find myself with the outside of my thighs resting on theirs—as if they were trying to squeeze me out of even more of my legroom. It was a long long night.

-First taxi ride alone (I was really scared, which is crazy because I know it's a totally normal thing) but to be in a car alone with a strange man? Weird. I don't think I tipped him enough, but it cost more than I thought and I didn't want to dig back into my cash stash as we were standing on the street corner at 5:30am in a dodgy area of downtown Boston.

-First view of the Charles River alone (the taxi driver doesn't count)

-First stay in a hostel alone (nice experience, though I did spring for the private room)

-First aborted attempt to buy a T ticket myself (someone had to bail me out because I was totally oblivious and didn't know that I needed a Charlie card....). Oh, and along with this one goes “first aborted attempt to get through the T gate myself.” Had to be bailed out of that one, too.

-First ride on the subway alone. Grabbed myself a pole by the door (it was rushhour) and did just fine.

-First chichi Harvard tea & cakes reception(!) alone. When I checked into the Harvard Special Collections library this morning, they handed me an invitation to this event. I went, knowing that it would be something to blog about. Discovered that even though I walked in looking a bit like a drowned rat (having traversed Harvard yard just moments before in a pouring rain with a hole-y umbrella), people were nice to me anyways.

What are your recent "firsts"?

just beachy

together, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Last night John & I chased the sunset, arriving at the beach just moments before the sun sank into the horizon. We shared a picnic and enjoyed being outdoors together. I marveled that I was feeling well enough to even get to the beach--though I really only walked a few dozen yards from our parking spot to the tideline.

This morning I had a surgical follow-up appointment and was told that my wound had healed enough that I could cease debridement. I'm healing so much faster this time 'round than with any of the previous lancings/drainings of the wound. Everyone is very sure that "we got it this time" and that this is all behind me now.

I'm scared to be too hopeful yet, but let's just say that I'm actually making my reservation for the Exponent Women's Retreat in Boston today--working on the hope that I will actually be well enough in September to go. (for those of you who are local to Boston--where's the best teahouse/coffeehouse? Last time we were there we encountered a few late at night walking around Harvard, but didn't have time to try any of them.)

A few days ago I cut my hair--realizing that it had been months since I'd even had the energy to think about hair, face, etc. I'd not even had the strength to stand at the sink long enough to really brush my hair, much less consider style and/or blowdry. It's such a superficial thing, but it's really a thrill to notice the difference in how I feel--that I actually have the mental and physical stamina to get back into my own self-care routines.

Today the surgical nurse warned me that I'm going to have a pretty ugly indented scar on my leg for the rest of my life. I told her that that didn't matter to me as long as the infection was gone. Scars are of such little consequence when one is finally feeling better again!

Pilgrimsteps: the World Tour

I got this idea from Dar, who posted it as #67 of her "100 Things to Do Before I Die" list...

I would totally love to do a Pilgrimsteps World Tour to have a cup of tea with all of you groovy blogfolk. Drop a line in the comments to tell me where I'll need to stop on my tour (your city), and also name your favorite local teahouse/coffeehouse (or bakery, yum!) for our meetup. Sound fun?

Weehaa, here we go!

For the OC tourstop, we'll meet at Kean's Coffee, where we can sip artisan lattes and watch the rich & famous get their caffeine fix.

let's celebrate today (with a giveaway!)

There's so much good going on right now! It's time for some celebrating:

1) I've been aching to take some pictures, but just as I started feeling well enough to do so, my camera broke. John picked up a new one for me today, and let me tell you, the first few sample shots have me pleased (see the one above), even if I do still need to learn the bells and whistles. Speaking of which....my camera really needs a good name. For everyone who submits a name suggestion in the comments, I'll put your name in a hat for a DRAWING next Friday. The PRIZE will be any 8"x10" print that you'd like from my flickr feed--I'd suggest one of the garden pics, myself.

2) I'm healing well--no current signs of infection and I can get around pretty well without crutches now. I'm guessing that within the next week or so, I'm going to feel better than I have for many months (fingers crossed, knocking on wood, etc, etc, etc.)

3) Gradually, I've been getting to visiting many of your blogs. You people are so smart and interesting and cool! Thanks so much just for being you (queue Mr. Rogers' music...."because I like you just the way you are").

4) Today as I've puttered around the house a bit I've been overwhelmed by the love that's been showered on my family over the past few weeks. There are nummy foods from friends in the fridge, flowers on my table, handmade soap on my nightstand (that I will actually break open and use soon enough), colorful cards propped up on my sewing table, and a generous stash of dark chocolate in the cupboard. You all really know how to make me smile. Thank you.

PS: I'm not usually so sappy, but I'm just so happy to be feeling good again. Can you blame me? :)

UPDATE...
The camera is another powershot, very similar to my last one. I didn't say that right off the bat, because...well, it's a bit embarrassing to be using a camera like that when so many of my blogger friends have REAL cameras--like the rebel kinds with ginormous phallic lenses and stuff.
One of the reviews said "This is the kind of camera you buy for your Mum." So I guess you can now all call me Mum.
(but do note that it is a groovy shade of "Bohemian Brown," so that ups its coolness factor just a tidge)

when good things happen to me

Just as a quick addendum to my last post, I wanted to let ya know that the healing I've been doing for the past two weeks? Well, as of right now it looks as though further intravenous treatments, surgery, and so forth will not be necessary. Hah!

The upshot: I've got a busy summer ahead full of swimming, researching, teaching, gardening, writing, meditating, and LIVING.

:)

In the meantime: continuing to praise each new day. At this moment: drinking my afternoon cuppa with a silly grin on my face and a purry-purry kitty at my hip.

je suis contente

What a gorgeous morning it is here in Cache Valley! John and I stole away from the wedding preparations for an hour to have breakfast together in a friendly cafe (so friendly that they even remember our drink preferences from yesterday's visit!).

Yesterday I did the preliminary legwork for my research at USU later in the summer, I spent time holding and playing with nieces and nephews, I met the many friends and family members of the groom that I've heard about for so many years, I giggled with siblings and in-laws, and enjoyed June weather as it was meant to be.

In just a few hours our kids (duet on flute and cello) will be playing the processional as my youngest sister walks down the aisle. As they practiced last night and I watched their earnestness, my heart swelled so large with pride at these two gifted and beautiful creatures!

This is one of those days when one feels the whole world is alive and awake and smiling--life is so sweet! I feel as though I want the earth to swing just a bit slower on its axis today. To let this day last just a bit longer...

UPDATE: Thanks French police! I am contente and not content!!

Make me smile...

--one more hurdle crossed, my first-ever baseline mammogram. Whew. Like when the tech said I had to hold my breath while she took the film, I wanted to say (had I had breath to do so), how could I not hold my breath when she has just squished me into this vise? But really it was far faster and far less painful than I'd been led to believe. And it's over and from what they said this may well be the most painful one (given that boobs tend to get smooshier over time, I suppose?). [Note: I am a bit on the young side for a mammogram, but I've recently learned that women who had my type of cancer and treatment have a much higher risk of breast cancer]

--drove to Long Beach and back in record time to get GameBoy's cello repaired in the nick of time before his grande concert. Jacarandas were everywhere along the way. How can that not make me smile?

--had some QT in the garden yesterday. Planted more basil (for 14 plants total this year! pesto, anyone?), marigolds, asters, peppers, one more tomato (squeezed in just so), and a new-to-me type of lavender (that makes four so far). I have the most amazing new garden neighbors who are planting cucumber vines all along our shared fence (yum). And did I tell you that blackberry season just began--I nibbled my first 2 last Wednesday and expect to have a few cupfuls by mid-week? I didn't get the corn in this weekend as I'd hoped, but fortunately I can plant it until late July if need be. As I was telling a friend yesterday, I refuse to feel garden guilt if I can't get everything in as early as possible. I'm taking things one step at a time this year....

:)

so sweet

a perfect little gift, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

If it was your birthday, and if you found this sweet little package waiting for you this morning, you might be especially thrilled to offer your beloved some vanilla-lavendery kisses.

My lips could get very spoiled by all of this....

:)

p.s.

Yesterday I neglected to mention how I'm celebrating my anniversary today. Curious?

:)

P.S.: This is my odd synchronicity for today....I have always had a round belly (except for that one year that I was having chemo and I dropped to 70lbs). Anyways, I hate it. Well, I'm not the only one with the belly issue...(you'll want to scroll down past the fish people part of Amanda's blogentry to get what I mean and then watch the following vid set to the music of my all-time fav DD song, the one that I listen to daily at the end of my workouts where I do my damn situps to try to get rid of my belly)....

jacaranda

Today, coming home from Meeting, we drove through several streets in Old Santa Ana like the one above--lined with Jacaranda trees. It was snowing neon purple blossoms. If I'd been feeling a bit better, I would have danced in the falling flowers.

pic by John

locket

locket, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This locket was my Mother's Day gift from the kids and John. It has pictures of both of my babies inside. I love the flower detailing on the outside of the locket and the mini flowers that dangle from the chain at the top. A treasure, indeed.