at last, and too soon...

"Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?" --Mary Oliver*

Three of my grandparents died when I was fairly young. So for many years my GrandmaB (my kids called her "Candy Grandma," can you guess why???) was my only grandparent.

She passed away this morning after suffering from dementia for several years. Of late she didn't even know her own name, much less the identities of those who came to visit.

I have many memories of her, perhaps the most distinct being her pain as she watched her oldest son--my father--die of cancer. I can only imagine how deep her suffering was, and remember her saying that she'd never expected to outlive my father.

So I'll travel to Utah to join the family in celebrating the life of this beloved woman. It will be a thrill to see the extended family, as I suspect that it might be a very long time before we all have reason to gather again.

*Thank you, Deborah, for this bit of poetry.


Anonymous said...

The poetry is perfect. The grandmother I was closest to all my life suffered from dementia. I didn't want to let her go, but she vanished before my eyes, long before she died.
May your memories, and the comfort of your family keep you safe.
She was blessed to have a granddaughter like you, and you to have her.

Brooke said...

Jana, my thoughts are with you. Hope you have some peaceful moments during the family busy-ness and the funeral.


littlemissattitude said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jana.

As you know, my mother suffered from dementia. She had already changed some by the time you met her and had completely lost herself by the time she passed away in December.

My thoughts are with you and your family.


Kanga said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you.
Love and Peace

Alisa said...

Beautifully poetic thoughts, Jana.

Kristen said...

I'm so sorry, Jana. Grandparents can be so wonderful, and to lose the one you knew so well must be so hard.

Alli Easley said...

I'm sorry Jana. Perhaps we should go for tea when you come here to Utah. You're in my thoughts.

G said...

thinking thoughts of peace for you at this time.

Vajra said...

I'm sorry for your loss. My own grandmother is always in my heart. Love to you.