8/01/2010

a bit of shell-shock

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Last night my plane sat on the tarmac for more than 30 minutes before getting gate clearance.  And we ended up being unloaded rather far off to one end of the airport so I came in a side door on a far gate rather than the regular JetBlue terminal.  This meant that I exited the airport and walked down to where John awaited me at baggage claim.  Seeing him from afar, I almost didn't recognize him!  Those six weeks of unruly uncut curls!  But what was truly awesome was that he was positioned at the gate, watching the door, with his back to where I was.  So I came up behind him and watched his body shift (almost in slow motion, like a movie) as I whispered. Love, I'm here.  And then he took me in his arms and I buried my head in that strong shoulder of his and let the tears fall.

The past week has, of course, been one of the most exciting times of my professional life.  Working with the brilliant and affable people of the One Week | One Tool team exceeded my expectations in every which way.  I especially loved that it was a diversion from the challenges of the weeks that had preceded it.  Even though we were working super-hard on our project, it was actually far less stressful than the weeks that had preceded it...

I'd had a perfect storm of DH experiences over the summer--such amazingly rich conferences.  But I'd also been solo-parenting the kids while John was at Clarion (managing all of the end-of-school-year busy-ness along with their personal and outrigger team schedules), had just started a full-time job where in the space of four weeks I rolled out two major web projects and oversaw a large-scale courseware migration project, was in training for the time trials for the adaptive team for the Outrigger World Champs, and was managing the health needs of a critically-ill cat.  And throw into the mix the care of a 450 sq ft summer garden, various household projects, a car that broke down, a dissertation-in-progress, a broken prosthetic leg (temporarily fixed so I could travel), 3 major trips (including two across international borders), etc.  And I think....it was just about too much.


I feel now, a bit shell-shocked at all that has happened the past few weeks.  I'm terribly behind on emails and thank yous and stuff.  I have a mountain of laundry.  I have plenty of stuff to do to prepare for Tuesday's OneWeek software launch.  I'm also finding that I just can't seem to turn off my brain.  I keep yammering on about work to John and can hardly enjoy the pleasures of home.  I'm not trying to complain--really the magic of all I've learned and done leaves me with no regrets.  But I am...exhausted and raw.  I need some time, some ocean, my lover's arms, and some good deep sleep...

2 comments:

Chandelle said...

I am amazed by all that you do. And your description of being with John again brought tears to my eyes - it's so hard to be apart, but nothing can replace the intensity of reuniting, being reminded of all you have. And wow, I feel pretty special that I warranted an email on top of everything that you were doing! I'm off to reply right now.

Melissa said...

Jana, my dear friend, do me a favor and take a week OFF. Okay, some things can't be ignored, but the things you can put aside, do. You deserve it!