12/02/2009

what lies ahead...


woodland walk, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This morning I had a flashback to when I paddled to Catalina earlier this year. Some friends said that they'd pick me up at the island airport and fly me home (yay, friends!). In order to make the connection to meet them at the airport that's up on the highest point of the island, I caught the last shuttle of the day up there. As the driver dropped me off at the airport he looked at me like I was a bit crazy. Clouds were rolling in around us & he warned me that small planes might not be able to land. So there I was, exhausted from my 5 hour race and toting a bit of gear, my paddle, and a pair of crutches (in case my fake leg had come off & floated away in the ocean or something like that). If my friends couldn't land, I'd be sleeping on a bench (assuming that they'd let me do that). But I just figured it would work out. And it did--a gap in the clouds opening up just long enough for Graham to land and for us to be on our way home. And how thrilling that was!

So this morning I had another moment where I had that same sort of feeling, where I had to surrender the outcome of the situation to the universe. And hoping that if worse came to worse, I could probably find some kindly soul to lend a hand.

I feel like that's an important lesson for me to learn--that I can't always control the variables of my life, nor should I always try to do so. I just need to make my best effort and then let life happen without fretting too much about the worst-case-scenario.

What lessons has your life taught you lately?

3 comments:

catbonny said...

I have such a hard time with that lesson. I want to learn it all the time, but I think I struggle with it because I am a control freak.

I think that lately life has been telling me to slow down and take it easy a bit, and that its okay to now always have things done weeks before they need to be. It sucks that I learn this lesson because I am laid up in bed and can't do much, but this morning I rented a view movies to watch on my couch, and thought that it felt really good to feel like it was okay to just sit back and relax and get better, rather than worrying about the paper I have due for finals. I'm still a little worried about it, but trying to have faith that it will get done in due time.

Hello. My name is Allison. said...

Gosh, this is such a beautiful post and resonates for me. With getting divorced the day before my kitten went into hospital, then the next day after that having a questionable 'thing' removed from my leg which, thankfully turned out to be non-malignant, and then my kitten dying 14 days later, I have really had some lessons in surrendering of late. I'm doing just has you said - making my best effort and letting life unfold. Letting myself feel and grieve and be solitary if I need to be. Realizing I have control of so little...and that's OK. There's a grand plan and somehow it all makes sense even if I don't think so now or know the why. OXO

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