Just got back from the gym this morning and was feeling strong and proud of myself. Strong enough to try taking a few self-portraits...
Can I just say how hard this is? To look at myself and not see an image full of flaws? To think positive thoughts about this aging and scarred body that I inhabit?
So this is me in my favorite gym top (I think it makes my arms look extra muscle-y). I am wearing a necklace that I made myself a few weeks ago (I just love it). And I am feeling brave enough to share this photo with you. Closing my eyes as I finish this entry and taking a deep breath as I push the "post" button.
World, this is me.
3/16/2007
because it's all about me anyways
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7 comments:
Where's the armpit hair?
BiV - lol :-)
Jana, funny to read you say it was hard to post the picture because of all the flaws you see because when I saw the picture, my initial reaction was "Wow! What a cute picture!" I went back to look and see if I saw the flaws, after you said you did, and I still don't. I see about a thousand physical flaws in myself that other people seem to miss, too, though, so perhaps it is all too true that we are our own worst critics!
*sentimentality warning for everyone but Jana*
I looked at the picture before reading the post and responded viscerally, with love and lust, affection and admiration. If anything, looking at your picture makes me want to highlight my own flaws: why did such a beautiful and marvelously talented woman marry a jerk like me?
Biv:
Armpit hair. Ha. Honestly, I can't imagine that it would be comfortable to use crutches with hairy armpits. It seems like it would get caught and pull (ouch!). But I guess sometimes crutching around on freshly-shaven armpits isn't all that groovy, either.
Explanatory Note: I use crutches when I'm not wearing my prosthetic leg, which is typically at night, in the morning, and at the beach and poolside.
JG: I'll eschew sharing the list of my flaws here. It's depressing. But I am trying to overcome the negative self-image. Posting this picture is part of that project.
John: you are a dear. I am so lucky that you are mine. :)
Like everyone else my first thoughts were of beauty and of luminosity of spirit. Flaws? I didn't notice any.
Having had a foot of snow this weekend, I'm glad that you didn't post another of those lovely outdoor photos reminding me all too well that my garden is months behind yours.
Agape 6
Philia 7
Thank you. This picture brightened my day.
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