The first was a graduate seminar. We were discussing Laurel Ulrich's A Midwife's Tale
. Both the professor and several class members questioned Ulrich's objectivity as a historian because of her Mormonism. There were critical comments about polygamy, patriarchy, and Mormon racism. Because of recent changes in my own religious identity, I found it difficult to speak up and defend the LDS Church. However, I did describe my unabashed admiration for Laurel and her work, but I didn't address the critique of Mormonism.Late yesterday evening I was at my AROOM book group when several of the women were bashing LDS patriarchy. For whatever reason, this really hurt my feelings. I wanted to tell those who were speaking to stop. But I didn't. In hindsight I feel like I should have said something, but I'm not even sure what that something is/was.
Oddly, now that I'm out of the Mo church I find myself reluctant to criticize it. Not that I don't see its faults, but I'm so happy to finally be able to let go of the anger I felt as a Mormon, that it's hard for me to find myself in the midst of the criticism and not feel dragged down by it--as if it is disrupting my current joy.
4 comments:
very interesting, jana. may i ask what comments in particular about patriarchy were offensive?
I can see how it might get tiresome to hear others' struggles with LDS issues now that you've moved beyond that. It seems like a very healthy place for you to be - content with your own faith and no longer banging your head against the wall of institutionalized religion.
Caroline:
It was nothing specific that was said, necessarily. I'm just weary of the overall criticism and I'm so happy that the patriarchal issues don't affect me anymore (because I've removed myself from the community). Though I am happy for you that you can now express yourself to the Bishop. You go girl!
I should add, too, that I don't want you (caroline) or others to feel that you need to censor yourself around me. Discussing how I felt last night is just a way for me to work this out in my mind--to ruminate on why it bothered me. In the future I hope that each of you will speak your truth(s) with me, even if it's something that makes me uncomfortable.
I was wondering about this just the other day. I was hoping that you and John would have more peace because you wouldn't be fighting against an institution. However, I was also thinking how disorienting it might feel to suddenly be free of what was weighing you down ...
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