1/12/2006

autist

My brother David posted this test for autism on his blog. I'm a 22, which means that I'm on the upper end of normal for a female. Curious.

My results may have been skewed by the fact that I just finished reading a book with an autistic protagonist. Elizabeth Moon's _The Speed of Dark_ is a fabulous tale about an adult autist who is faced with the choice of whether to take a treatment to cure his condition or remain as he is. I picked up the book because I like thinking about the way that disability affects personal identity. In my own situation, I know that my disability is not the core of who I am, yet it is such a big part of me that I can't really imagine life without it. And I'm not sure I would want to. Though I would like to run, jump and frolic like a 2-legged person, I like that having just one leg makes me unique. And that this uniqueness is something that draws people to me. Would I really want to give this up?

I suspect that with increasing advancements in medical technology, I may have to make this choice someday. While, at times, I crave being a bi-ped again, at other times I wonder if I'm too comfortable as I am.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I will have to try the test. My wife is a learning disabilities expert and constantly used me as a guinea pig for her new tests. She says she needs to practice so she can administer them smoothly and professionally... but I sometimes wonder if she is really trying to better understand the fine details of how I tick. I have no doubt that she understands me better than I understand myself.

Disabilities issues are pretty interesting. We have close family members with severe congenital or chronic disabilities. My wife and I have both tended to select people with disabilities for our closest relationships. For some of them the disabilities themselves and the ways they affect their lives seem to be part and parcel of who they are, and how they each are competent, valuable, interesting, and unique.

I am sure that part of your uniqueness to me, why I noticed you instead of someone else while browsing through blogs one quiet afternoon, was the realization that you are an amputee, along with a brief description somewhere of your religious outlook. (Not a description commonly seen here in New England.) Then too your blog stands out for being refreshingly wholesome, clear normal, curious, and adult, free from stylistic obsessions.

I have generally found people with disabilities refreshing, interesting, and attractive, enriching the web of friends, loves, olleagues, and acquaintances. Who knows what part of this perception is related to personal identity? How much is connected to my own values and personality? What measure reflects simply the tendency for difference to attract attention?

I don't have any answers today as I wait for my train home. Yet I do think that it is particularly good for people to embrace who they are. We need to value our physical and emotional makeup in it's full complexity.

I love my heirloom tomatoes for their variety, intensity, history, rarity and quirkiness. I love hybrids for their disease resistance and strength. Prudens Purple looks strange and violates the popular image of a tomato, but I esteem the fruit for its many fine qualities. Thoughtless people will look no farther than its peculiar appearance, but the wiser gardner will select and treasure the funny- looking ones above all.

Oops. Have to catch the train.

-Gray

2:23 PM

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