8/10/2005

reaction

No one leaves comments on my blog, but I have had some nice emails and comments from friends who seem to enjoy reading it. Perhaps the post that's generated the most comments is walking (about a friend who was critiquing the way I walk).

It's interesting that being disabled means that your body is a public object--most everywhere I go I am stared at or asked questions about my leg. I'm pretty used to it. I expect that when I'm walking through a mall there will be numerous people staring (maybe that's why I don't care for malls?).

When I was in France I noticed that everyone stared at everyone. It was a socially accepted and expected activity. Here in the US people are more subtle--they try to stare without me knowing that they are staring. This is particularly obvious when my back is turned to people and I quickly turn around and see them averting their eyes. It's funny, too, when I'm at the gym and people forget that the walls are mirrored and I can see them staring.

When I was younger I used to wish that just for a day I could go in public wearing shorts and not being noticed. Now I think I'm so used to it that I don't even care any more.

Though the stares don't bother me, sometimes the comments or well-intentioned adults do. The most common is, perhaps, the question about why I don't run marathons or participate in a paralympic sport "like so many other amputees" that this person has seen on TV. Well, duh. My cynical response is to ask them how many olympic medals they've won recently [And then there was that one day that someone at church insisted that I had dated her brother, simply because I was an amputee and she knew he had dated an amputee. As if I was the only female amputee in the western hemisphere. Sheesh].

Though the adult comments sometimes sting, kids' questions rarely do. For the past 4 years I've encountered hordes of kindergarteners each day as I picked up my kids from school (the kindergarten classrooms are near the school entrace so I always pass them). When I don't wear my "skin" (when my pylon leg is showing), the kids are so fascinated!! They meake me feel famous as they gather around me with awe and ask to touch my leg. I love it. We have such fun conversations. It's the well-intentioned adults that try to shush them that leave me feeling disabled.

4 comments:

Ian Gregson said...

When I get stares, it gives more than enough reasons to stare back and if the starer is female... :-)

jana said...

I do sometimes enjoy the attenion, especially when I was single and I attracted the eyes of men [I've always wondered if that's why I dated more than my able-bodied friends--I was simply easier to 'notice' in a sea of available women].

But, most of the time the stares feel rude--even though I know that ppl are only curious. And I do stare back.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you do have readers who do know know you!

You would surely have attracted my attention if we were both single and in the same time, place and age. Your writing is charming, and I have enjoyed discovering your blog. Personally, I think that wearing an uncovered prosthesis is both honest and attractive. Good for you!

Thanks for writing.

Gray

jana said...

Gray: Thank you for your kind words. It's nice to know that someone is reading and enjoying my writing :)