7/28/2006

do I need a nose ring?

Yesterday John and I attended E's art show--the display of her summer art workshop. As we were thoroughly enjoying all of the projects that she showed us, her teacher came by to introduce herself. She zeroed in on me first, and asked if I was E's mother. John, who had been standing next to me but was facing away from the teacher, turned around, reached out his hand, and identified himself as E's father.

The art teacher sort of recoiled for a moment, then replied.

"No, you're not...you really couldn't be her father?"

Then the art teacher looked back at me again and sized the two of us up from head to toe.

"Are you sure?"

John was sort of baffled by her insistence that he couldn't possibly be E's father. This, despite the fact that E resembles John so much that there can't possibly be any mystery about her parentage.

When we talked about it later he expressed his annoyance at the teacher. I told him he needs to come up with a snappy rejoinder for such situations (this happens quite often). Me, I need to come up with a comeback, too. I'm starting to get pegged as John's *Mom*, and I don't quite know how to deal with it. John suggested that a few strategically-placed body piercings would make me look young enough to belong to him. Unfortunately, I hated getting my ears pierced and can't really fathom a ring through my nose or brow. Ditto for tattoes (ouch).

So, dear readers, help me here. What can I do?

6 comments:

Gray said...

I was adopted and bear little resemblance to either of my parents. My entire life I have been told how much I resemble my father, who is eight inches taller than I am, and has nearly black hair (I am blonde), not to mention that he is clean shaven and I have a full beard. Perhaps we share some mannerisms.

I think that people simply say silly things all the time based on conscious and unconscious expectations, generalizations, and stereotypes.

I think that it is enough to realize that this is common behavior- or misbehavior. I don't think it means much more than an example of common congitive error and perhaps abysmal social skills on her part.

Caroline said...

I think you guys look great together :)

el.dude said...

Is there a big age difference between you or just a style issue? That teacher sounds like she has poor boundaries/filters!

I think it is amusing when people realize the age difference between me and the Squeeze - they think we are good together, but it takes some adjustment time.

You and John seem like a fantastic couple!

jana said...

John and I are the same age, but we definitely have some style differences. He's an old black t-shirt and frayed jeans kinda guy, and I tend to dress a bit more LLBean meets Old Navy-ish. He's also half-Asian, which means his skin and features look more youthful than mine.

John also has a full head of dark curls (no receding hairline or gray). Me, I've got a few visible streaks of gray.

I am from a family of women that tend to look fairly young for their age, and I do try to keep myself healthy and youthful-feeling.

So I think the teacher's comments were probably addressed more at John's style--we live in a very straitlaced, upwardly-mobile, Dockers & button-down shirt type of suburb community. That's why I wonder if I don't need to 'do something' to myself to better match John's oh-so-hip scruffiness. I've thought about dressing differently, but I like dressing sort of plain, and I don't feel good in super-tight or trendy clothes.

Anonymous said...

My spousal unit has a sign in the downstairs bathroom that is perfect advice for you Jana:

"In a world where you can be anything, be yourself"

You guys compliment each other so well! No changes pleez!

el.dude said...

I agree - go with what you like and let others react how they will! More power to you!