tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post5930777286548692260..comments2023-09-30T07:11:12.483-07:00Comments on pilgrimsteps: inside-outjanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06538362162139679868noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-69571426017327607902008-08-13T17:54:00.000-07:002008-08-13T17:54:00.000-07:00Hello Jana,I came across your blog via Dooce (I'm ...Hello Jana,<BR/><BR/>I came across your blog via Dooce (I'm an avid reader of hers, she's a great person). Once I started reading your entries, I was very touched and emotionally flabbergasted.<BR/><BR/>I contracted cancer in 2005 at the age of 20, but didn't have an amputation of my entire leg, just a toe actually (from nodular melanoma). When they opened my leg to test lymphnodes, I also contracted infection after infection.<BR/><BR/>Technically, the open wound "healing" process didn't apply to me because they couldn't find anything in my leg to clean out. So I would contract an infection, receive antibiotics, go home, contract another infection, receive OTHER antibiotics, and so on. It was miserable, as I'm sure you know.<BR/><BR/>But, my wound wasn't pretty. My amputated toe wasn't pretty. And my husband (fiance at the time), was taught to clean and dress everything. He also took pictures to keep track of any changes, as well as document for my own benefit. I couldn't look at either wound site.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I'm thankful I had my beau, and I'm thankful you have yours. I saw that you were able to clean your wound and congratulations!<BR/><BR/>It's amazing what we can actually go through...<BR/><BR/>PS. My link is to a blog I will publish soon, but it's empty now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-46853577270226592182008-08-13T11:17:00.000-07:002008-08-13T11:17:00.000-07:00As with all things, this too, shall pass.I wish yo...As with all things, this too, shall pass.<BR/><BR/>I wish you the best of luck. You've been brave and courageous so far, and I have no doubt you'll continue to be so. <BR/><BR/>Remember: Just because you're being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared shitless at the same time ;)Adelheidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15144131809821467071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-48512927573090384422008-08-12T14:19:00.000-07:002008-08-12T14:19:00.000-07:00I had a syst that had to be opened and the had to ...I had a syst that had to be opened and the had to be packed. It was on my lower back so I never really got to look into it, but it to about two months for it to heal enough for them to go in and cut the "Walls" of the hole out... only to be packed for more months. It was the worst ordeal I have ever been through and I remember screaming as my mom put the gauze in. It was also embarassing because if I wasnt careful the dressing would leak and get all over my clothes. But, after a bit, I became hardened to it or something, and either I got used to the pain or it got better. It does get better. The pain anyways.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-78908632144022152402008-08-11T22:18:00.000-07:002008-08-11T22:18:00.000-07:00ms. moon: I totally love the idea of naming my wou...ms. moon: I totally love the idea of naming my wound! And I have a friend who's promised to do the tattoo thing with me if/when I'm ready for it. First things first, though--I have to get this thing healed! :)<BR/><BR/>zhoen: good ideas--I've basically done this with my daily dressing routine and it seems to have helped a lot. I use a freshly-laundered towel as a "drape" (it's also a handly place to put the ooky bandages and stuff in the process of dressing the wound)<BR/><BR/>All: the docs say that it's healing fairly well--there's just one corner of the wound that's sort of festering. We're going to try some different antibiotics (again) to see if that will help with that particular area.janahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06538362162139679868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-23105626415125361672008-08-11T16:11:00.000-07:002008-08-11T16:11:00.000-07:00In surgery, we drape the incision site, disconnect...In surgery, we drape the incision site, disconnect it from the whole person, which makes it easier to see as a thing, not a wounded and suffering being. Maybe get some medical drapes, an opaque garbage bag, tie it around, make it a kind of ceremonial, apart from life. <BR/><BR/>Working in surgery took some mental gymnastics, not to get ill, not to recoil. Prepping and draping are, I think, not just for sterility.Zhoenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03515663141425057088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-44430497192027972112008-08-11T14:02:00.000-07:002008-08-11T14:02:00.000-07:00I have no advice. I'm 2 months out after an arthro...I have no advice. I'm 2 months out after an arthroscopic surgery and I had the same reaction as you did.<BR/><BR/>And from what it sounds like my arm was NOTHING like your leg.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there and remember to be kind to yourself...AutoSysGenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01182101665968215991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-15064631897532145622008-08-11T14:00:00.000-07:002008-08-11T14:00:00.000-07:00I was taking care of a friend of mine who had been...I was taking care of a friend of mine who had been shot in a burglary. She had an exit wound in her shoulder which needed irrigating several times a day which meant unpacking and packing- like yours. It was so hard for her and not especially fun for me either, but we got through it more easily when we decided to name the wound. I think we named it Ethyl. It just seemed easier to say, "Honey, time to tend to Ethyl," than it did to say, "Time to clean your WOUND." <BR/>A tiny thing. But she is fine now and got a beautiful tattoo of a bluebird over her scar.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-62847436872048185302008-08-07T01:26:00.000-07:002008-08-07T01:26:00.000-07:00That totally reminds me: Bologna sandwiches for t...That totally reminds me: Bologna sandwiches for tomorrowJohn Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01148138073618817344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-80450705782392779542008-08-05T18:36:00.000-07:002008-08-05T18:36:00.000-07:00I got nothing. But my ears are ringing a little. I...I got nothing. But my ears are ringing a little. I think I may be one of those "gentler readers". I wish they had those Wonder-Woman underoos that I had as a kid. I would find your size and send you some. I don't think my son's "Man of Steel" ones could be convincingly doctored to read "Woman of Steel". But you surely must be. And your sweet John is a prize.sarah k.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18443012372866539495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-67183180532937025492008-08-05T18:07:00.000-07:002008-08-05T18:07:00.000-07:00Hehe, it looks like Tanya Sue and I were posting a...Hehe, it looks like Tanya Sue and I were posting at the same time, with similar ideas... ;)Penny L. Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00102296070193780691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-58653914525723821842008-08-05T18:04:00.000-07:002008-08-05T18:04:00.000-07:00Your reaction really doesn't seem irrational to me...Your reaction really doesn't seem irrational to me. Humans should be at least a bit upset by the sight of our own bodies opened up, pulsating--it's a vivid sign that something bad has happened, or is happening, and that we'd better treat it very seriously. Which you are! <BR/><BR/>I don't have any advice, but if it helps to know "this reaction is perfectly understandable; my body is telling me something important, and I'm listening," then do that, eh?Penny L. Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00102296070193780691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-10663188734839907242008-08-05T17:58:00.000-07:002008-08-05T17:58:00.000-07:00Hi Jana, with all of my medical crap I have found ...Hi Jana, with all of my medical crap I have found curiousity gets me through it. What everything looks like enthralls me. I think if you can find a way to be curious about what it looks like, that will help. I also think once you get past the "holy crap what did they do to me?" it will get easier to see and handle. Just be patient and know it is ok to be somewhat grossed out by it. At the same time, it is your body and the layers are amazing.<BR/><BR/>From my surgeries I have seen my ligaments look like torn in half, and what they look with a bone graph creating a new one. I have seen what my ovaries are like when they are ovulating. I never cease to be amazed at the human body.<BR/><BR/>Your amazing body figured out a way to make sure you knew there was still an infection, instead of letting the infection take over your body. Your body did things to make sure you knew there was something you needed to pay attention. That is amazing! Your body knew how to get your attention in order to get this problem addressed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-50655633922307004772008-08-05T17:15:00.000-07:002008-08-05T17:15:00.000-07:00Hi Jana, I don't know if I can give you any advice...Hi Jana, I don't know if I can give you any advice, but I really can't believe how brave you are. I have been reading your blog and thinking about you a LOT because when I found out you had to have an operation on your leg, I imagined how hard it must be. I have read your article about your amputation when you were a girl, and I can't even fathom how hard it must be to have to be put to sleep knowing that your other leg was being operated on. This kind of thing has to be extremely traumatic to the mind. It is no wonder you don't want to look at the wound. Please be easy on yourself and know that you are ALREADY brave and strong.Bored in Vernalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14016611721544251941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-53320359560968957802008-08-05T16:19:00.000-07:002008-08-05T16:19:00.000-07:00Like Deborah, I've got no advice, except love your...Like Deborah, I've got no advice, except love yourself as you are: beauty, wound, nausea, everything. You are so amazing to undergo yet another ordeal with such grace. Gee, I'd surrender to torture if they took away my credit cards, so all I can say is you are a great teacher as is your body. Just hang in there.Vajrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03316098020907016693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-81175381651666506292008-08-05T16:12:00.001-07:002008-08-05T16:12:00.001-07:00And you are brave and strong, that much is abundan...And you are brave and strong, that much is abundantly clear.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14220150965132605143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14231518.post-46059095871058540532008-08-05T16:12:00.000-07:002008-08-05T16:12:00.000-07:00No advice. I dread the possibility of a big surge...No advice. I dread the possibility of a big surgery, because I take months to heal from little ones -- my most recent mole removal surgery took six months to fully close. Something about iron, I think.<BR/><BR/>I'm just so sorry you are going through this. While it's cliche, the phrase that has resonated with my husband and I recently while dealing with something particularly stressful has been: Sometimes the only way out is through. <BR/><BR/>I prefer detours. <BR/><BR/>P.S. You have a great husband.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14220150965132605143noreply@blogger.com