I will lift up my hands...

This passage moved me today, as I contemplated those experiences in our lives that result in a shift of faith. From Aaron Sach's The Humboldt Current, speaking of Emerson's loss of religious faith:

For much of his life, Ralph Waldo Emerson kept a print of Mt. Vesuvius hanging in the front entryway of his house. He had actually climbed the great volcano once and made a point of noting the sensation of warmth in his soles and the experience of peering down at the caldera, "the hollow of salt and sulphur smoking furiously beneath us."...Perhaps it was meant to inspire him to live with more fire and intensity, to embrace the present--to imagine that at any instant, like the villagers of Pompeii and Herculaneum, he too might be swallowed by ash and frozen in place.

Emerson started living for the moment when he started losing his faith. He started losing his faith when his wife started to die, in the fall of 1830, when he was twenty-seven. Before Ellen, the church had been his world; now his buttresses were fracturing. Deprived of his imagined future, he tried to savor every present moment with her. When she slept, he read, to distract himself...Facing utter aloneness, he turned not to God but to the physical world. Through much of Western society, science was beginning to challenge religion, and, from now on, immersion in nature would anchor Emerson's philosophy.

Within two months, Ellen was dead. Emerson felt a void that could not be healed by any eventual salvation. He couldn't live in the future tense. Within two years, he had left his pulpit. A couple of years after that, he would start writing his first book: Nature.

During the months between Ellen's death and his decision to abandon the church, Emerson reached a watershed in his intellectual an spiritual explorations. In March 1832, on one of his daily visits to Ellen's tomb, he suddenly ripped the lid off her coffin and stared at her remains. Then, pondering ashes and dust, he urged his congregation, in consecutive sermons, to focus on the "virtues," even the "pleasures," that were near at hand...He exclaimed: "Is it not better to intimate our astonishment as we pass through this world if it be only for a moment ere we are swallowed up in the yeast of the abyss? I will lift up my hands and say Kosmos."

Pic above is mine of Emerson's gravesite (flanked by his second wife Lidian and their daughter Ellen) at Sleepy Hollow cemetery

bright

bright garden, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

Discovered!

GameBoy scores his pic in Discover Magazine before he's even hit puberty (do you think he can put that on his college applications?)

pilgrimgirl classic: you know you're getting old when...

Originally published on 6/8/2006

you know you're getting old when...
You're teaching class, standing up in front of 60 undergrads, and about ten minutes afterwards realize that your fly was down the whole time. And after the realization you're not even embarrassed.
But I am pretty glad that today's the last day of classes. If one is going to teach with one's zipper unzipped, the final day of the quarter is a good time to do it.

and whiskers on kittens

Long Whiskers., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

Pic above is of Bobette, our foster kitty, who's a source of endless delight around here. She has her own fanclub on FaceBook now because she's such a rockstar!

hair again

I keep vacillating between getting another haircut or growing it out. Not the world's most important decision, but...
during the summer it's always nice to have hair long enough for a ponytail,
but then again, short hair dries so much faster when one is swimming often.

I think for now, my lack of decision means that it's growing out. But I'm not sure I'm really committed to it. I saw a vid of me teaching the last time I had long hair and I realized that my hair is just so fine & thin that it doesn't really look healthy when it's long. When short it has much more body. So what to do?

steering my boat

outrigger, originally uploaded by chotda.

Awhile ago I told a friend that my dream life would include paddling on the ocean every morning. It's part of that fantasy-dream life that includes that two-room cottage in a hippie beach city, that we'll buy after I've sold a few bestseller books or hit paydirt in some other manner. I remember as I told my friend this, thinking of all the logistical hurdles that kept me from paddling: a boat, the skills, the time, etc.

So it really was cooler-than-cool when a new friend invited me along to go outrigger canoeing on Newport's Back Bay a few months ago. And it was hardly any wonder that when she told me about her paddling team that I was eager to try it out. So fast forward a few months--I've joined the "novice" women's team and I'm having a blast learning how to paddle.

The irony of this wasn't entirely evident until attended my first novice practice. Because we're just learning the ropes, us newbies are practicing on Sunday mornings and not with the regular team yet. We push off from the beach at about 9 and return around noon. It's three hours of various drills, sprints, and pointed advice on technique. We switch positions in the boat because each seat has different responsibilities. And most of all, we're building up our endurance because the races are miles long and we've barely just gotten the feel of paddling through the waves (most of our practices are still held in the harbor as we toodle around Lido or Balboa islands).

What didn't dawn on my until the first practice, was that the beach where we launch...it's just across the street from the LDS Chapel where I first met John, where we held our wedding reception, where our son was blessed, where I taught early-morning seminary, where I worshiped for most of my adult life. And as I turn right to the beach, all those SUVs turning left are my LDS friends who are pulling into their Sunday meetings.

This really gave me pause on the first morning of practice. I reflected on how much I've changed in the past five years, how when I was even a lukewarm Mormon I never would have considered joining a sport team with practices on a Sunday morning, because of injunctions about keeping the Sabbath holy and because of my obligations to my ward.

This week my coach announced that she was teaching me how to steer the boat. The steerer sits in the back of the boat and is basically in charge of keeping the other team members on track--most literally because the steerer sets the course for the entire boat because they are the boat's rudder. Using special strokes to keep the craft going in the appropriate direction, the steerer also calls the 'start' of the paddling and watches to make sure the other paddlers are in sync. My coach, during the time I was training gave me tips on how to keep a team together, how to help the boat move successfully toward a destination. I was amazed by the trust my teammates had in me, because the canoes are precarious and the ocean current is strong. A slight miscalculation on my part would result in all of us landing in frigid water, which was especially undesirable given the chilly winter temps on Sunday (and we all saw another team with a seasoned steersman tip a boatload into the bay last week, so we were well aware of the risks).

So we zig-zgged around the channel a bit until I figured out how not to 'overshoot' with my steering strokes. My boatmates were calm and never expressed concern about my efforts. As we pulled into shore and finished cleaning the canoe, my coach told the other team members (who were in other boats) of my success at steering and they congratulated me on my efforts--a few even offering applause. It was a kind and rather unnecessarily embarrassing gesture, but I loved how it made me feel part of the team.

As I drove away from the beach area and passed the LDS chapel I thought a lot about the way I used to feel a part of the Mormon team. I felt a thrill every time I entered that building and felt its echoes of memories and special occasions. It will never cease being a holy place for me. But when I get out of the canoe and feel the bone-deep satisfaction of having paddled hard, having felt the thrill of being on the open ocean and the rhythm of the waves, of seeing dolphins playing in the surf, of having dry lips and chapped cheeks from hours facing into the sea wind...I can't help but feel joy that I'm steering my own boat these days. I don't have the surety of the 'final destination' that I used to when I spent my Sundays on the other side of the street, but I'm okay with that. The open water offers me more now. And I'm up for the challenge.

Picture above not mine, but is of the same kind of canoe that I paddle in with my team.

that bright time of day

daisies!, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

If you know me well, you surely know that I'm not a morning person. I suspect that this is the result of many years of insomnia-related intermittent sleep patterns. In the mornings I'm short-tempered, I don't want to talk, and I don't smile or giggle much at all.

However, I've recently noticed a change in that pattern. I'm appreciating how full of possibilities my mornings are. Even though I often still hit the snooze button, it's far less often than before (like maybe twice instead of 6 times). I don't grumble through the morning carpool and I find a lot of joy in those moments where I'm planning my day--so many possibilities.

I suspect that mornings are going better because I'm sleeping better at night. It might be the result of more exercise (you try paddling a canoe for 2.5 hrs and then see how well you sleep!) or those novels that I'm now enjoying each evening before bed. Or it might even be the little kitty-sprite (in the form of TobyJoy) who's started sleeping at the side of my pillow for the first few hours of each night.

I don't know, but I have to say that is does feel very good to have my mornings.

“To him whose elastic and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual morning”
~Henry David Thoreau

technicolor

technicolor dinner, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

This is what we're having for dinner tonite with a bit of yummy cheezy sauce on top. I can't wait!

too squeaky-clean?

Being a crunchy-granola gal, I've tried in all kinds of ways to reduce my carbon footprint and overconsumption of resources, including water. But I have to say that it's just agony for me to go without a daily shower. I've been experimenting with "skipping a day" and that whole day that I do, I feel off-kilter and gross. I don't particularly want to spend time with non-familial humans when I haven't showered. And running my hands through my day-old hair grosses me out.

I'm all for re-wearing clothes until they're dirty, but I think I'm a big fat FAIL at not bathing. Like when I saw Heather's post today, I realized, wow, the only times I've gone three days without bathing have involved hospitalization (meaning: I've had surgery and couldn't).

My difficulty with not showering might be a result of my uber-sensitive nose--if I don't want to sit next to me because of the unwashed smell, it's pretty tough to feel normal. Of course it might just be that I'm a particularly greasy-stinky human and so I have to bathe more than most people.

What do you think? Any sympathy or advice for this shower-addict?

now, with more cowbell

Did that crazy meme where you do a google search to see what you need (to play along, enter "[your name] needs" into google and report your findings). My top 10 hits:

1) Jana needs psychotropic medications
2) Jana needs A Home
3) Jana needs your help
4) Jana needs to get her ass back to new york
5) Jana needs a bang trim
6) Jana needs the help
7) Jana needs at least version 1.4 of Java®
8) Jana needs to find that peace and soften her anger towards her Father
9) Jana needs ya Very Happy
10) Jana needs to stand up for herself

with a bonus #11:
Jana NEEDS MORE COWBELL!. JANA COWBELL!

PS: I undoubtedly need a lot of help, a bang trim, and to get back to New York...

so lovely

my boy, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

he's so hawt

Brooklyn, NYC., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Just a quick tribute to my growing GameBoy. He's about as tall as I am, wears shoes 2 sizes bigger than me, and lifts heavy things as if they are nothing at all. It's really a thrill to parent a growing teen boy, especially one who's still quite ticklish and has a delightful giggle.

goofing around

Goofing off with Jana., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

I think I was folding laundry when John grabbed me around the shoulders and snapped this pic. It's a bit, um, unsettling to live with someone who has a camera in hand nearly all the time. I'm starting to get used to it, though. (isn't he a cutie? and that HAIR...jealous, much).

a bit of garden

Jana's New Earrings!, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

for my ears. :)

birthday

Jana at Sushi on my bday., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

A different picture of me on John's birthday. One without, um, cake..

red

it is a red red rose, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

John's birthday cake yumminess

Jana, great um, cake., originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Didn't put many candles on the cake. Learned my lesson back with birthday #30.

control issues

iris, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

A few weeks ago I had a situation that was beyond my control and as I fussed about it, someone pointed out to me that I might have some "control issues." I've thought a lot about that since then.

As much as I think I'm a kind of happy-go-lucky hippie type of person who scoffs at school rules and the Irvine Company and riding my bike where I'm supposed to, I'm learning that I like controlling much of my life and my environment. For example, when we gather with friends, I far prefer having them over to our place, which allows me to control the menu, the timing, etc. I'm much less relaxed at gatherings held in other peoples' homes. Also, I love my calendar and my daily task lists--and I am very careful with the way I apportion my time. I don't like having to be too many places in one day (more than 3 appts/classes/meetings) or I start to get anxious and I tend to find a way to back out of something.

Now, I think much of my 'control' has to do with my disability. When I'm at my house I am familiar with the terrain--I know which chairs will be comfortable, I can be barefoot (I walk far less well when shod), and so forth. If I'm especially weary I can take off my leg with little drama, which isn't as possible at a friends' place. Also, my desire to keep my schedule somewhat open undoubtedly is related to that, too. If I've got sores on my leg or if my leg isn't fitting well on a particular day, the hurdles of finding parking and getting to meetings or whatever, can be downright painful.

One reason that I'm enjoying my life so much right now is that I am so able to be 'in control' of my schedule. I work mostly from home with some outings to archives or libraries. I'm not teaching so I don't have chunks of time each week where I need to be in the classroom or in office hours (and of course there's no grading papers either!). There are many benefits to being master of my own schedule, such as being able to incorporate regular exercise and meditation into my daily routine. Not to mention the ability to get much work done on my dissertation even while I'm the primary caregiver for our kids.

But I wonder if my ability to be so 'in control' of things is having a deleterious effect on other aspects of my life. I feel like I've been less accommodating of others' schedules and needs. I'm less relaxed with John. I prefer being at home to going 'out.' I feel a kind of self-focus that's rather unhealthy--I think a lot about what I'm wearing, what I'm eating, what I want. I find I have less patience with others' desires and needs.

While we were traveling over the holiday I consciously attempted to give up some of my 'control' and relax more. I think I've been less successful with that of late. The desire to control is two-edged--I believe that much of my success academically/professionally stems from my ability to control my life and be productive. But control can also be born of fear, and I don't find that to be particularly healthy. I don't want to structure my life so much that I can't relax and be open to novelty and pleasure. And I don't want to always be in charge.

I've recently added a new item to my daily task list, "do something extra-ordinary" (note: the irony of 'scheduling' such a thing is not lost on me...). On some days it means a venture into Second Life, where I'm a n00b and I hardly know which way is up. Other days it means making a phone call to someone I barely know, or driving somewhere unfamiliar. It can even be wearing clothing that's outside my comfort zone (I am such a creature of habit). Or picking up a book that I'm unsure whether I will enjoy (as a side note: yesterday's venture in that direction stalled when I got to the elves in the book--gah, I am so not a fantasy person). And in all things I'm finding those moments of exasperation--those times when I'm craving control--and I'm trying to understand just what's going on there:
What am I feeling?
What are my fears?
Why do I need to do it my way?
Can I let go of my need to be in charge?
Can I lose control?

Picture taken in my garden a few days ago. I've had some gorgeous irises blooming and I cut a bunch and have had them in a green vase next to my sink. :)

just lovin' it

bleeding hearts, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I'm not feeling particularly festive today, but I just realized that I wore a bright red top today not even thinking about it being a good v-day color (though, in my book, every day should be a red-worthy day). Also wearing my "Journey" necklace (yay!)

Though I am sometimes loathe to admit it, I really love it when my house is clean. I don't like saying that because there's something sort of shallow and petty about that (why? I don't know). Anyways, the family has pitched in this morning to do some deep cleaning jobs that have gone unattended for far too long, which makes me feel very good. Also, we 'decluttered' a large bag of kids' clothes/shoes and goodies to a friend whose children will love them.

I just finished cleaning our stove and oven, using only baking soda paste. I love that it's far simpler to use than the toxic chemicals I used to use on my oven--the ones that would make us all choke and wheeze, and my eyes would burn as I cleaned. Yuck!

One question for you all: we now use diluted vinegar for cleaning all of our surfaces, but because I don't really care for the smell of vinegar, do you have any ideas on adding a bit of citrus or herbal scent to the cleaning solution? Would essential oils work or would they leave a residue? Should I just add a few lavender wands from my garden, or would they go all yuck in a spray bottle with vinegar-water?

Lucky

We'll have three Friday the 13ths this year. I've never found them to be particularly unlucky days (how 'bout you?). John started a twitter thread to record 13 Lucky Things for today and I'm playing along. Here are my tweets:

Lucky Friday #1: found fav cashmere sweater immediately upon opening drawer in sleepy fog of awaking and realizing 'must-now-drive-carpool'

Lucky Friday #2: Flan. In fridge. And I have a spoon.

Lucky Friday #3: calendar page: empty. (though 'to-do' list is plenty long)

Lucky Friday #4: New silver hoop earrings, tinkling lightly as I walk

Lucky Friday #5: Three gigantic farm-fresh tomatoes broiled in the oven. And I have a fork.

Lucky Friday #6: My podcast intro song, "I Fell Off My Name," randomly playing on my iPod mix while I'm exercising

Lucky Friday #7 & 8: Rain outside while I'm cozy inside. Wearing socks handknit by Mom.

Lucky Friday #9: some fav lyrics--"Oh hold me like a baby that will not fall asleep.Curl me up inside you and let me hear you feel the heat"

Lucky Friday #10: Finishing up with book that's been recalled by the univ library. Will put me in good graces with ILL again.

Lucky Friday #11: Finished reading _Oryx & Crake_ last night so I get to start a new novel tonite. Which one will it be?

Lucky Friday #12: cornbread w/bean stew for dinner. Daughter asks "is there anything that doesn't taste better with cornbread?"

getting it done

Yesterday I set aside the whole day to attack a pile of papers that needed to be "dealt with" as well as catching up on other tasks that were looming. It was not fun, but afterwards I felt like I'd really accomplished something (and the pile is gone--hooray!). Today I have been doing more of the same and it feels fantastic.

The weight of unfinished tasks is too heavy a load to carry for very long...

creature of habit

Back in 1990 or so I wore this dress when I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. I liked the dress and thought the fit was flattering. I've also always been a sucker for plaid taffeta (my fav dress as a young girl was red plaid taffeta).

Well this pic was taken in 2000, when I was still wearing this dress at least once/yr. Recently I put together some FaceBook pics of numerous formal dates on which I wore this same dress. I was pretty surprised--I hadn't realized just how much I'd liked it until I thumbed through all those old pictures!
With Ryan
With Todd
With Aaron
At Steph's wedding

So now I wonder how weird it is that I've worn this same dress for so many events? I tend to have a fairly small wardrobe of clothes that I really love. I'm not the kind of gal that gets a new dress for every occasion.

How about you? Do you have some favorite clothes that you've worn repeatedly through the years?

short shameful confession #9

My kids like to eavesdrop on the "adult" conversations I have with my friends (not that they are triple-x or anything like that...you know what I mean)...

So I've learned that the best way to clear the room of tweens is to simply say:
"Nipple, nipple, nipple, penis, vagina."

No way do they want to hang around when Mom starts talking vagina.

journey (and a giveaway)

Back in August when I spoke on a panel with Heather Armstrong, many people asked me about the necklace that I was wearing. It was a hippy-ish strand of turquoise beads with a tree pendant in the center. I'd come across this necklace awhile before when I was looking on etsy.com for a handmade pendant with a 'pilgrim' or a 'journey' theme. I'd found a great "journey" necklace in this shop (perfect for a pilgrimgirl, I'd say), but then decided to purchase the tree necklace instead (if you know me, you will know that I have this "thing" for trees and will often carry on conversations with them).

Anyways...

So this seller is having a giveaway on her blog this week and it just so happens that she's offering one of her "Journey" necklaces to the lucky winner. Of course I entered right away, and suspect that you'll want to do the same! (note: leave your comment on her blogpost and not mine!)

Photo by John

sneezewort, wolf's bane, and the funny fruits of my family tree

I mentioned to my sibs that I was using arnica oil to help fade some bruises, and had an email exchange worth sharing:

From esteemed scientist Bro:

Since I work in a chemical biology department, let me me chime in for a second and remind everyone that just because something is "natural" doesn't mean that it's safe or without side-effects. A quick google search brought up these precautions for arnica:
-----
Precautions
Arnica is generally safe when used topically (externally). However, prolonged use may irritate the skin, causing eczema, peeling, blisters, or other skin conditions. Arnica should not be used on broken skin, such as leg ulcers. Also, people who are hypersensitive or allergic to the herb should avoid it.

Arnica is rarely used as an internal herbal remedy because it can cause dizziness, tremors, and heart irregularities. It may also irritate mucous membranes and cause vomiting. Large doses can even be fatal. Do not take arnica internally except under close supervision of your doctor. Homeopathic remedies, which use very small amounts of arnica, can usually be taken safely.

If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, talk to your doctor before taking any medication, including herbs.

Then, later, from same Bro:

i saw that it has another name: mountain tobacco

so, by the WoW, tobacco can be used as "an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgement and skill." (italics added).

[Note: WoW=Word of Wisdom, is the Mormon health code. Not to be confused with World of Warcraft tobacco, which is not good for bruises]

From librarian Sis:

I just happen to be cataloging of handbook of natural herbs and supplements today, and I can tell you that Arnica also affectionately known as Leopard's bane, sneezewort, mountain snuff, and wolf's bane. I think Jana should tell people she rubs sneezewort on her leg. Sounds more Harry Potterish.
Also, be sure not to use any of the following to apply it, no matter how tempting it may be: celery, ginger, onion, licorice, wild carrots, or wild lettuce, as they may react with Arnica. Also, you shouldn't use Arnica if you are allergic the chrysanthemums (or if you have trouble spelling chrysanthemum).

in the commons

I'm a fan of Creative Commons. I share my photos, my web content and my podcasts with CC licensing, which means that you're free to use my stuff, but you've got to give me credit if you do so. Sure I know that people 'steal' my pics sometimes--it happens most often with pics of me that are reposted by these folks (which, btw, I find fairly disturbing but I try not to think about it too often).

Recently I discovered that a picture of me was lifted from John's flickr feed and was used to illustrate a misogynistic blog article. I learned this because a friend had seen the article and recognized me in the photo. This made me feel incredibly uncomfortable--primarily because I felt that my picture being affiliated with the post implied that I had endorsed the writing or was somehow involved with it (FWIW, because the article detailed the sexual exploits of the author, I felt it was possible some people might assume that I'd had a relationship with him). Now in this case the blog author didn't use appropriate CC attribution, so I dropped a comment on his post suggesting that he review the rules for the Commons and also made it clear that I had no connection to the author's words despite my image being on display. Within 48 hours my pic was gone, replaced by that of another nameless woman.

I tend to assume when I license something for Creative Commons, that my generosity will be mirrored with responsibility on the part of those who use my work. Surely I am naive. And there's little that I can do when my images are connected with content that's antithetical to my values, especially if the user has followed the rules of the Commons by giving appropriate attribution (which, in some cases might be even more discomfiting than if the image was used anonymously because my flickr identity links directly to my various websites).

I'm not going to stop sharing via Creative Commons and if anything I think I've got a bit thicker skin now--so when this happens again (and I'm just assuming it will) I won't take it so personally. However, I'd like to know if any of you are wary of the Commons or have been burned by the unattributed use of your work? Many of my friends add a copyright watermark to their photos to discourage theft, and while I've considered this, I figured it not worth the time investment on my part. Perhaps I should reconsider?

short shameful confession #8

I once had a pet fish that I named Sushi.

It died shortly after the birth of my son. It was weeks before I noticed.

After that I vowed never to have a pet again.

Then broke that vow about 6 years ago when I became a cat lady

giggly

Caught in the Act!, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

This pic of TobyJoy from John always makes me laugh. He says:
"Toby told us that she had given up drinking, but it was an open secret that she had fallen off the toilet wagon."

it's his big day

the right shot, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

John's birthday is today, number 38. If you have a sec, drop by his blog and wish him a good one!

calling all artists!

Given that my new bionic leg is a blank canvas that needs some attention, I've decided to offer the opportunity for my artist friends to decorate my prosthesis. I'm planning temporary "installations" that will be changed 3 or 4 times per year. While I'm wearing your art I'll feature you on my blog and if you'd like I'll carry your business cards and be a walking advertisement for your work.

If you're interested, drop me a line and we can discuss the details--the medium and the type of art that would work best for the dimensions of the project. Do note that you'd have foot, leg, and thigh to decorate. (no need to be physically present in SoCal, either--I can apply the art myself if you send it to me).

I'm open to all types and forms of art--for example, I could imagine that poetry would work as well as visual art. So many of you, my readers, are incredibly creative and talented--I'd be thrilled to wear your work!

Looking forward to hearing from all of you artistic folks: phddillyATyahoodotCOM. Feel free to forward this link to anyone outside the PilgrimSteps circle that might be interested.

Pic by Gus Greeper from flickr

my new best friends

paradasaical, originally uploaded by pilgrimgirl.

I find new best friends all the time on teh internets. Of course they usually don't know that they are my best friends, but I start reading their blogs and then follow their twitter and all of a sudden I feel like I know them, and what they're doing is important to me. Isn't that a wee bit creepy?

Maybe...

I've met so many amazing folks through teh cyber-magic, usually getting acquainted with your words and your lives long before I see a photo of your face (and when I do finally *see* you, what fun that is!). I love that the 'net brings us all together.

So please don't be freaked out when I drop a comment on your site, k? And now can we can all hold hands and sing a round of Kumbaya together?...anyone play the guitar?

vintage

IMG_0880, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

The Edwardian Ball was held in a old LA theater that's mostly closed-down these days, but is used sometimes for movie filming (Mulholland Drive was filmed there). All was in a state of decrepitude and disrepair--loose railings, peeling paint, soiled carpeting (where the carpet was extant), bathroom doors askew, etc. A perfect venue for a cabaret-punk style event.

I enjoyed watching the parade of costumes, marveling at the creativity and ingenuity of each attendee. Of course the music and the goth/vaudeville-style show were great, too.

Most of all, it was fun to share it with John & friends.

for real!

Jana's Lovely Hair!, originally uploaded by mind on fire.

Picked these roses from my garden just moments before we left. They were my favorite part of my costume. :)